We're born, we live, we die

It is so important to encourage people to have conversations around death and dying, specifically between healthcare professionals and patients, their carers and their families.

Our hospice partner, St Helena, empower people to plan ahead and share their choices for future care, including end of life care, and to record this on My Care Choices.

Important choices at end of life

Kit, who is currently staying at the hospice, recorded his choices with the support of his community nurse specialist (CNS) at home and his wife Helen. Kit admits it is a work in progress but that it is important to have plans in place and his wishes noted:

“The My Care Choices form, I think that was great. That's exactly what I wanted, all in place. We're still in the throes of plans really; we think of something new every other day.

“I've got no problem talking about it. We're born, we live, we die.

“I was diagnosed with breast cancer, stage two, and they did the mastectomy and the chemo and the radiotherapy, and it disappeared and we thought that's it. 20 years later, here I am, but it's now stage 4 and it's gone on to my lung, my right lung.

Making the most of life

“Life is short, make the most of it. Even me, I haven't adjusted my lifestyle in view of my cancer at all. I’m here to enjoy myself.

“I guess there is a perception that when people hear ‘hospice’, it's end of life, but I'm psyched up for that already!”

Kit and Helen have been married for 42 years, popping off to the registry office on a lunchbreak to tie the knot. Helen is open to frank conversations about the future too:

“We’ve always had quite a sense of humour, so for us, that's the way to deal with dying, to try and joke about it.

“We're accepting the fact that he's going to die and he is end of life because he's no longer able to be on chemo.”

Support from the hospice

Before arriving at the hospice, Kit had regular visits at home from Diana, his CNS, to check on both of them, and she arranged for the couple to have a look around the hospice to reassure them if it was needed. Shortly after the visit, Kit had a stay in hospital before being moved directly to the hospice, and now sitting next to her husband on the ward overlooking the garden, Helen feels the hospice is making him comfortable:

“He came in dreadfully poorly and they've just built him up and given him more strength. They’ve adjusted his medication so that he feels calmer and more at ease with his illness and himself. They allow open visits, which is lovely. They also care for me, so the fact that there's also support for the partner, the family in general, is a big, big plus.”

Care and comfort

Knowing that her husband is safe and being cared for means Helen can go home and feel relaxed. Helen continues:

“We think it's the best place anybody could be if they need extra care at end of life, as my husband is.

“We had a birthday party here for Kit and they were brilliant, they put decorations up overnight and he woke up to a Happy Birthday banner! We were just so thankful we were able to do it in the lovely lounge, there was room for 11 of us, it worked out perfectly, and the kids enjoyed the garden.

“But we really didn't think he'd see his birthday. He did ask the doctor what the prognosis was, and he's outlived that.”

Kit adds:

“I didn't realise that many people go into hospice for limited periods, recuperate and come out again, but there is a perception that it's the end of the road. I don't feel that anymore."

You can help others like Kit

When you play Your Hospice Lottery on a regular basis, you are helping raise the vital funds that help people like Kit. These funds give St Helena Hospice an income they can rely on, which secures their future.

Make sure they will still be here in the years to come for the people you love.

Play today!